Disclaimer: After boring myself with a linear, completely factual account of this day I took a page from Richard Lawson's guide to writing entertaining and comically (slightly) inaccurate reviews and came up with what's below.
As we illustrated last month with this excited Asian man, we were psyched one of our favorite UK bands was going to make their NYC debut during CMJ week.
Friday night we missed their initial gig at our favorite venue the Music Hall of Billysburg. We were tempted to attend after Four Tet but rationalized that if we planned to have any semblance of energy on Saturday our losses should be cut and some much needed sleep should be got. Although a bit bummed, it was true, zombitude was unacceptable!
Saturday we got gussied up with such intent we looked like we stepped out of a lookbook.nu profile and went into the city for their 4pm set at Arlene's Grocery.
Some band from Toronto whose name escapes me was on when we got there, Snail got all hot in Topeka about the tall and slim bass player because that's what she does and we were perplexed by the lack of people close to the stage, like they were afraid of catching something. That's the trend at CMJ showcases I've noticed but yet know why it is.
As we waited for Everything Everything to set up, to let out some of our nervous excitement we did our T-Rex thing, we joked about me stealing a mic from the stage and lip-syncing the Motown songs playing in the background and a "DIOSSSS" was exclaimed at some point. Then shit got real.
Snail, Moz and I all had setlist wishes for "Tin (The Manhole)" "Photoshop Handsome" and "Final Form," respectively. I voluntarily decided I couldn't look at the setlist but as soon as Snailentina said I was going to enjoy the first song, I knew they were opening with my jam haha. We all got what we wanted out of this trip including every song on Man Alive minus "QWERTY Finger" "Come Alive Diana" "Two for Nero" and "NASA is on Your Side," I think. The set felt like a half-hour, maybe 40-minute cocktease (damn you, CMJ and yer short set times!) pero better that than nada.
Snail and I sang (appropriately loud and obnoxious during "Photoshop Handsome") and danced a lot, of course. We did this better than everyone else because that's how we do. Moz sat/leaned on a stool due to residual tiredness and did his photography magic via iPhone.
Although I'm super protective over this band --as in I don't want douchebags liking them-- it was nice to see people enjoying them. A group of fanboys and a fangirl next to us knew the words to the songs, too so I gave them the stink eye (not really...well, okay, a little). Frankly, as far as we were concerned they were playing this set for us and us only. We only need other people to get into them here so they'll come over more often but doesn't mean we have to like any of 'em! Baleedat. *haters gonna rotate*
We went upstairs to do that which I was too chickenshit to do before the show, talk to the band. I asked the other two-thirds of the tripod if they were to join me in a crusade not to die old men filled with regret. A newly revitalized Morrissey lifted a fist in the air and said "Aye!" while Snail watched on in the background, feeling like a proud mother.
El Moz y La Cheep ended up talking to super nice guys guitarist Alex and singer/other things person Jonathan. We had "conversations" from which came an invite to their show that night at Bowery Electric, my infamous message to the band about a half-remembered dream and me mentioning Snail and I's favorite city homeless, Dress Vest who likes to taunt upper middle class white people and wears stylish dress-length vests styled from crochet, random color fabrics or toilet paper (we miss him). Morrissey got to business, all angry like "FORGET THAT NOISE, WHERE IS YOUR CD? WE WANNA BUY IT!" and Jonathan was all yelling back, "Hold your horses, mate! We got gear to haul you'll get your damn CDs when we can get to it! STAND OVER THERE AND WAIT" Like I said, the nicest guy.
So we reported our findings to Snail and did the waiting thing, bassist Jeremy came with the CDs and we handed over our sack of pennies equalling the price of three Man Alives. On our merry way we then went to stuff our eyes with macarons and those pretty overpriced dresses. Later, we killed time at Whole Foods on Bowery and ate macarons (the Espresso flavor won) but not the dresses with Snail until she went home on sick leave and domestic duty.
Being all young and restless and lacking any kind of responsibility, we went into the night and enjoyed Everything Everything live 2.0 at the West Rocks party. This time we got the same setlist BUT in a different order and "Weights" was replaced by "QWERTY Finger." I liked this set better but I enjoyed dancing at Arlene's more. Morrissey danced with one leg but didn't do the Lazy Susan which upset me terribly somewhere. I kicked everyone's ass dancing again and I think some guy took unsolicited photos of me which felt like the equivalent of getting my underwear smelled by a pervy home intruder while I'm out, mad creepy.
After this giant le sigh-worthy awesome, we stood outside surrounded by British accents and cigarette smoke waiting for the band to come out to thank them for everything. Morrissey dreamed of topping the night with their midnight DJ set thing but I was feeling kinda tired and unsure that it would be kosher to ask them to let us in to yet another event. After staring at their gear for 5 minutes, I found out how wrong I was!
When I told Jonathan thx, we're out! he told us all articulate and English, "You ain't going nowhere but to this damn party with us!" and I thought, "FUCK SLEEP!" and off we skipped holding hands to the PureVolume House where the boys were scheduled to press play on numerous CDs of their choice for less than an hour. For some reason the band ended up being hassled by a abnormally large-calved bouncer with bad 'tude who harshed everyone's mellow. We retaliated by making fun of him at random intervals during the night. When everyone finally got in, there were only with less than 20 minutes for Jeremy and drummer Mike to do the button-pressing and in that short time I discovered they have great taste in sounds they don't create.
Moz and I spent most of the night/early morn talking with Jonathan about intellectual things like candy, douches, Beyonce, TV shows, inappropriate toy brooms, my name and bad accents. We also talked to their charming, half French manager Duncan who gave Morrissey valuable life advice and read us poetry and Alex, who was probably the most effected by those odd, black-hearted calves, about things like Pixar films (saddest films in the world) and losing his innocence during Irreversible. A cultured night out with a bunch of down-to-earth English dudes that tickle our ears for a living, who knew? NOT US! But it was a good time (even though I missed Snail). Everyone we know is super jealous now.
Find out why we love this band here
See more pictures from the shows here
Read the rest of the Epic October saga aquí y aquí
